I open the door and all the good stuff seems so long gone. Empty glasses and your towel next to mine - only two of the unbelievably unnecessary things inside this room. What good are glasses without water inside, what good is a towel without your hands to hold it, to use it, to dry your face. You haven't been here long enough, I know that. It didn't have time to catch your smell. Or...I'd rather say flavour because I do think you have your own flavour. Is there a difference between the meaning of smell and flavour? Flavour just sounds so much more elegant, sweet and unintended. You smell like millions of things I can't describe - I'm not just saying that because that's what writers say when they can't think of words. I actually don't want to describe your flavour. Let's just give it your name. Whenever I hear it I'll remember your smell.

That's a lie. I know that. Flavours are so easy to forget because you never get a hold of them. They just seem to hang around in the air and vanish to all kinds of places I have no idea of. I might remember your smell when someone next to me in the tram smells similar. But not in the tram with wooden seats. The old one that I always like to make fun of.. it smells too much like wood. No flavour could overcome that, I'm sure. Only those highly aggressive and explosive perfums some people like to have. As if they wanna scream 'notice me' to the world. Your flavour would totally give in against those because yours is not strong and daring and wrestling other flavours down. It's calm, it's not easy to notice, it's quiet, it's silent. And yes, I am aware that all these are just a list of words that actually mean the same. But that is what your smell is like, it's Depeche Mode singing 'Enjoy the silence' from your skin.

I wanna close the door again. I don't wanna go inside the room. I don't want to sit on a bed where you sat a few hours ago. I don't want to find all the small things you forgot to take home. I don't want to face the emptiness. I don't. I don't want to picture you walking around the room which is hardly possible because it's so small. Walking around is already an exaggeration. Taking one step into each direction is closer to the truth but who cares about that. I don't.

I just miss you.
26.6.11 21:58


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